Argh

[kiana]

So the Hack comes in with a bottle of Bacardi. This causes me to remark that I wouldn't be drinking it, as I am boycotting Bacardi until such time as I don't want to introduce their advertsing department to a clue-by-four. (Due to this extraordinarily tasteful ad campaign.)

And cue the part where he really doesn't get it. I show him the ads. His first remark is 'well, it's not okay, but it's not that bad.'

WHAT. ARE WE READING THE SAME ADS? (As it turns out, he didn't really read them; in fact, thought they were aimed at men, as if that makes it any better! Then when I read aloud the offending text, he kept that viewpoint of 'it's not okay, but...'.)

I think I got a pretty good selection of derailing, from It's not okay, but..., to I'm just playing devil's advocate, to all advertising is just as bad to well, men are portrayed in advertising as stupid....

And here I am, saying (my exact words, in fact) I'm not interested in the whys and wherefores, saying please don't play devil's advocate because I'm not interested. I'm just angry, saying but I am angry about THIS ad, saying you do understand that you're making it all about the men?

I start typing. He says, 'Are you blogging about this?'

'Yes.'

'Can I see what you're typing?'

'Why?'

'I don't want to be misrepresented.'

And I flatly explain that this is my blog, and I am entitled to write whatever I like, and no, he cannot read it. I mention that if he wants to write about it on his blog, he is entitled to do that and thus represent himself. I am quite angry at this point. Angry and upset, because he just doesn't understand how offensive his attitude is, because he genuinely believes that he gets it.

Unfortunately, because he believes he has reached enlightenment vis-a-vis feminism, he doesn't really listen very well when I talk about things like male privilege ('I know I have it! But here, let me offer up another argument as to why this thing is not as bad as you think it is! Despite you asking me not to. Repeatedly.'). Admittedly, I don't explain it in a calm manner - but then, should I be calm? Am I just making a tone argument here?

Gah.

Anyhow. I say no, he can't read what has become this post.

Uncomfortable silence descends. I decide not to mention that the reason I am blogging on here is because a lot of my flist are female, and have an instinctive grasp of what I'm saying, and prboably why I'm saying it.

Oh my god, boyfriend. FAIL LESS.

I have my issues. God, I do. I am not the best person to try and teach Feminism 101 - in fact, I'm probably one of the worst, because I just don't have the patience - but I don't think I'm being unreasonable about this. (Of course, if I am - tell me!)

Also, I'm alive. Yes. Um. Hi.

Comments

[wilhelminabenedict]

I...I am just so damn tired of this. Not only the misogyny, but men thinking that because they say they're 'feminists' or 'support feminism' they can lecture us on whether or not something is sexist. NO. FUCK YOU. It's just...there is so much incredible critical fail there it almost hurts. You do not have the same perspective. You do not get to tell us we are not being discriminated against. That is sexism right there. 'Oh, the little wimminz are overreacting!'

Ki, you are not being unreasonable about this in any way, shape or form and there is no reason for you to be calm. It is not your responsibility to educate some sexist asshole who thinks he can lecture the victim.

Oh, and I'm very glad you're still alive.